University Roommates (Restart)

Emily:
I shook my head and sighed. "Are you ever going to understand?" I asked, feeling helpless. I wrapped my arms around my knees and looked at him. "It is my problem because I'm in love with you." I told him. I could feel a panic start to rise in my chest and I couldn't stop it. I heard my breathing speed up into short pants and I stood up and grabbed his duffle bag. Never in my life could I have imagined that this would be where I was standing. 

Through my tears I opened the bad and start unpacking things. "If you leave, you're not coming back, I'm not stupid Ash!" I yelled. My hands were shaking. 

"So just stay until we figure it out!" I pleaded, hugging the half empty bag to my chest like a life line.

Ashton:

I watched my few possessions fall to the floor. My stomach lurched for a moment when I thought she would get to the gun and toss that too. It was unloaded. I knew better than to keep it loaded. But still, shit happens when you think it couldn’t get much worse. But she stopped and held the bag to her chest.

I stared at her. What a lithesome being I was to make her cry like this. I put my elbows back on the coffee table and slid them down until my cheek was on the cool glass. My hands gripped my hair.
There was no way to keep her from pain.

There was no way to keep her out of this. I was every bit as trapped as I was that day, only now I had someone I cared about more than life itself.

Emily:
I looked at him through my tears. He didn't say anything. Didn't respond at all. I didn't want to beg, but thats what fell out of my mouth. 

"Please Ash." I said, through hitched breaths. "I promise, I'll leave you alone. I wont touch you or bother you if thats what you want." I promised, not even sure I could keep it. "Just dont leave," I mumbled pathetically, still gripping his bag. I knew exactly what leaving meant. Leaving meant my Ash would be gone. He would go back to drugs and probably other horrible things.

Ashton:

“Why do you want this?” I groaned, still covering my head. It was irrational to stay. I could get her in trouble. Her knowing made her somewhat guilty to what I had done. And if I stayed now it was more likely she would get hurt.

Emily:
"I dont want this!" I yelled. I didnt want the tears and the fighting and the hundred steps backwards. I shook my head and tried to wipe the tears from my cheeks. "I want you. I want us," I told him. I knelt down and put his bag next to me and ran my fingers through his hair. He still wasnt looking at him. "And if you dont want that, then look at me and say that. But if youre leaving for some other reason then just dont," I mumbled.

Ashton:

I closed my eyes when she ran her fingers through my hair. It felt good and I didn’t deserve that. My arms fell away as I turned my face to her. “Emily. We can’t be together. Not after this. Not with you knowing what you do. It’s not right. It was never right. I should never have done this to you. I should have moved out when my sister left.”

Emily:
"Are you breaking up with me?" I asked, looking at him. He was certainly allowed to not want to be with me anymore. "Because if you are, i already told you I would leave you alone," i said, even though it broke my heart. "But that doesnt mean you have to move out, especially if you have nowhere to go," I said.

Ashton:

“I’ll find someplace to go. I can’t stay. Why do you even want that? You should be kicking me out yourself, not asking me to stay.” I stared at her miserably. “I beat someone to death for fucks sake. You can’t be okay with that. You can’t be okay with being with me.”

Emily:
I shook my head, not wanting to go there. "Are you breaking up with me?" I asked again, making it clear that i wasnt breaking up with him. I still had a hand in his hair and I slid it to his neck. "Just answer that,"

Emily: 
I shook my head, not wanting to go there. "Are you breaking up with me?" I asked again, making it clear that I wasnt the one breaking up with him. I slid the hand that was in his hair to his neck. "Just answer that," I said, sniffling. "Because being with you was never the problem." I said. 

((for some reason only half of this posted before.))

Ashton:

“Yes.” I sat up and looked at the floor. “I’m breaking up with you.” There was no other way around it. I couldn’t be with her. She had to know that. And I couldn’t stay in this house with her, no matter how much she begged or cried. I had to leave her.

Emily:
He could have hit me and it would have hurt less than those words. I felt my lip tremble and bit it to stop the shaking. I let my hand drop from his hair and felt my body slump. Even with this situation, I hadnt expected him to say that. 

I let go of his bag, and with that, I realized this meant he was also leaving. No matter what I said. 

"Okay," I whispered. 

I felt all the fight leave me. To me, being with him would always be worth it. I just had to deal with the fact that it wasnt the same for me.

Ashton:

When I stood up it felt like my soul, what was left of it, didn’t come with me. I collected the items she had thrown from the bag and stuffed them back in. I leaned down to kiss the top of her head. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. I walked numbly over to the counter to grab my keys. When I walked out the front door, I had no idea where I was going.

Emily:
When his lips touched my head, I closed my eyes as tears rolled down my face. I kept my eyes shut until he walked out the door, until I heard it close behind him. I dont know how long I stayed on the floor. It could have been minutes, or hours. 

When my body started to hurt, I got up. I took a shower and it didnt help. I laid down and it didnt help. I tried to eat only to throw up in the toilet. Finally I just wrapped my arms around myself and sat on the couch with my phone next to me, in case he called.

Ashton:

I drove to the only person I knew would take me in. It probably wasn’t exactly right to go to Alicia’s apartment, but I needed a place to cool off and think. I hadn’t called her, but she let me in when I showed up at her door.

(At the house)
There was a knock at the door close to ten at night.

Emily:
I was so out of it, that I almost didn't hear the knock at the door. My heart jumped, hoping beyond reason that it was Ash. That he changed his mind and wanted to come home. I jumped off the couch and ran to the door, flinging it open.

When the door flew open the two guys wasted no time in rushing her. One had her body pinned to the wall and a hand firmly over her mouth while the other hastily closed the door. “Alright girlie, wanna tell us where ya boy is?”

Emily:
I didnt even register what was happening until I was pressed against the wall. I had one moment to think how can I possibly tell them anything with his hand over my mouth, before the panic set in. 

I struggled against the man holding me agains the wall and kicked, trying to loosen his hold. His hand came off my mouth long enough for me to answer. "I don't know who you're talking about!" It was a lie. It was pretty clear they were here for Ash. I felt almost a rush a relief that he left. That he wasn't here when these asshole showed up. "Get off of me!" I screamed.

The man holding her punched her in the stomach when she screamed out. When she crumpled forward he grabbed her by the arm and dragged her into the dark living room. The other man followed and pulled a gun out of his belt.

“Don’t be stupid. We know he’s been living with you. Tell us where he is now, or you’re gonna be suffering real bad. And don’t scream. That shit ain’t gonna do ya any good.”

Emily:
I gasped for breath after the hit to my stomach and and tried to look for anything to defend myself with. it was hopeless. Even if I had some kind of weapon, it was two against one. 

"I don't know where he is," I said, shaking my head. I looked up into the barrel of the gun and a fear like I had never known flooded my body. Would they actually kill me?

There was a moment where the two looked at each other. The one who had hit her reached from something on the couch. “Here,” He said and threw the phone at her. “Get him to come back. And don’t try any code words like in the movies. Just plain fucking English. Got it?”

Emily:
The phone hit my chest and then the floor. I shook my head. "He wont come back," I told them. I was saying it to get them off my chest, but the truth of the words hurt me. "And even if he would, I wont do it," I said. I couldn't. I cant even imagine what these guys wanted to do with him, but if I had a say, they wouldnt get close enough.

The man who threw the phone, the shorter of the two, kicked out at her side while the one with the gun moved to her back and grabbed a fist full of hair. He twisted and pulled so her head bent back. He pressed the cold metal of the gun to her exposed neck. “Call him,” He growled, “or we have some fun with you, use your finger to unlock the phone, we call him, and he comes back to find your pretty body mangled. Understand?”

Emily:
I thought I had cried all my tears in the hours since Ash left, but it turned out, being beat up helped a few more squeeze out. I grabbed my phone with shaking hands, and tried to get my voice under control. I had to tell myself that he wouldn't answer. He left me, why would he answer my calls? Hy hair was still in his grip and it felt like it was going to be ripped fro my head. "O-okay, please let me go." I begged.

He loosened his hold on her hair but his hand was still there and he didn’t remove the gun. “Remember, no code talk. Just get him to come back,” He said hot in her ear. “If he doesn’t come you’re going to be hurting.”